Wheelchair Fashion: Summer Ice-Cream
Wow, I've been AWOL for a while. Things went a little nutty there. I had a....dip I guess I'd call it? I hesitate to call it a flare because those are usually short & dramatic for me, followed by a few days/weeks of recovery. This felt almost like a natural progression & at several points in the last few weeks I was worried that that was what it was.
I was bedridden, completely, for a while & I kept drifting in & out of an almost delirious sleep. Focusing, even on eating & drinking was hard & even when stuff started to get easier I struggled with stuff that wasn't hard before. I'm still struggling with things like Instagram & blogging. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it again but I really miss staying in touch with my friends.
It was so glorious at the beginning of this I pushed myself to get out & take some outfit pictures. I was so scared that going out would instantly be too much (I'm sure you guys know the feeling) but guess I'd left it long enough & it was actually magical. I didn't do much obviously but just being out in the sunshine hearing the birds & feeling the breeze nearly made me cry, I'm a total wuss lol :)
I'm not really sure of words to say or things to put in this post. I feel like I owe you all a post with lots of information, interesting anecdotes or at least something more than "my top is from pin up girl clothing, my skirt is from lindy bop, my shoes are from B.A.I.T. footwear & my hat is old from H&M" but I'm not really sure what to add. I've been so out of it for so long & my foster brother is using so much brain space at the moment that I'm totally muddled.
It's stupid to think that 6/7 years ago I would have looked at what I am doing right now - sitting in pjs at 2 in the afternoon on a weekday desperately trying to write a blog post - as nothing. The me I was back then would probably have thought it was a waste of time & she definitely wouldn't have been happy knowing that at 23 she would still be living in her mum's house having achieved none of her goals.
The me I am now just feels unbelievably lucky to be able to sit up in clean pjs, having had a wash (including my hair!!!) & think clearly enough to write this. I feel so lucky that I was able to go out when it was sunny & that it hasn't put me back into bed.
I feel sad for the me I used to be sometimes, she had so much (her health & all that energy for one thing) & she was so busy getting ready for the future that she didn't really make the most of the time she had.
P.S. I know it sounds weird to think of myself as two separate people but I really have very little in common with the person I used to be. That person had the potential to be me but she was so busy worrying about where she was going that she forgot to enjoy the journey. Knowing that all I have is the journey I'm a much happier, more fun person.
How has everyone been? Did you get to enjoy the weather?