Sunday, 7 February 2016

Wheelchair Fashion: Still Ballooning

After my last big flare this summer I ballooned, massively. I mean I went from a 33 inch waist to around a 38/39... I was okay with that you know; I didn't like it, it wasn't me any more but I could live with it. It was something I could learn to cope with.

Over Christmas I had another flare & I started to balloon again. Anyway so I started to track my calories, I decided to set myself a 1500 calorie goal since I don't move that much & it's unlikely that I'm burning many calories. Since then I have gone over that goal maybe 4 times & never to more than 2000 calories, I had a stomach bug where everything that went into my body (including water) was coming out again & I didn't eat for 3 days (and no more that 500 calories for 3 days after that).
I have also gained more than 8lbs & around 6 inches on my waist.

I am aware that for some people with M.E. weight gain that has nothing to do with what you are eating or drinking is a thing & that people gain weight faster when they are stressed or ill or not sleeping properly.... I also know that my body type hates loosing weight but loves gaining it...I could tell you the facts for days but the truth of the matter is that this is not my body, this is not the shape that I am & it is making me miserable.

It's not like I loved the body I was in before - I had a roll of flab under my boobs that has upset me for years & I have never liked my arms - but I felt in control of that body. If I had decided that enough was enough I could have done something about the tone of my arms or that roll of flab around my middle. Now I know that even if I starved myself nothing would change (seriously after my stomach bug I was the exact same size...). Even worse I know that no doctor or dietician in the world is going to believe that I am not getting bigger because of what I eat...

Honestly I'm not sure why I'm telling you guys all of this except that this is a good place to get all the self loathing & depression type feelings I've been getting off my chest.

The stupid thing is I look at these pictures & I'm thinking why am I stressing, I don't look my best (all I can see is the fat around my face and the fat that makes my boobs look weird) but I don't look as bad as I am seeing myself in the mirror but then I remember that these are pretty much the only clothes I have left that fit me & that I had to fight my way into that bra & that my shape wear doesn't fit anymore & that I'm now too big a waist size to buy clothes from any of my favourite shops & I stop feeling quite so confident....
Blogger Tricks

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Holiday Pastels

Wow, I seriously need a hair cut! And I totally need to get dressed up in my pretty clothes more often...I think this is probably the first time since I stopped doing outfit posts & it feels like it's been years.

My brain is seriously mush so I am struggling to come up with anything to say in this post so I'm going to focus on facts.

When I gained all my weight recently I had to get rid of my tulle skirts. More than any of the clothes I had to get rid of (some of which I'd had since I was still in high school) getting rid of my tulle skirts hurt the most. I'm not exactly sure why but my tulle skirts meant a lot to me & I hated the idea of getting rid of them.
Luckily Modcloth came out with nearly identical tulle skirts in my size only days later :) They are not the same as my old ones, obviously; the tulle is slightly less soft, the lining is slightly less stiff & the waist band doesn't sit quite right. All that aside, putting this on felt like greeting an old friend, it made me feel happy all day...even after I'd gotten back into my pjs :)

The top is another purchase from after I gained weight, it is the Lily top from Heart of Haute & I seriously can't recommend it enough! I have it in both the white & the blue & I love it so much :)

The shoes are from B.A.I.T. footwear & the bag & belt are both old.

A quick hint for non elastic belts like this one. I extend my belts with ribbon looping it through the buckle & the holes where the buckle is supposed to fasten...and then I get someone else to tie it so I don't have to see how much ribbon gets used lol :)

Happy Holidays everyone

Thursday, 12 November 2015

Being Realistic

I started blogging quite a while ago because I couldn't find any fashion resources for wheelchair users & so I did it.
I am however a bit of a perfectionist & once you are a part of the blogging community it is hard to avoid those posts that are titled things like '5 things every blogger should do' & 'How to become a better blogger' etc.
I'm not a perfect blogger but the one thing from those articles I always tried to stick to was consistency, apparently people should know when you are going to post...some people even recommend only posting at a certain time in the day!

Anyway, I didn't mind posting regularly to start with - it gave a structure to my weeks & it was kind of fun - but as my M.E. gets worse I'm finding that I either have energy to go out & take outfit photos or go out & do something fun. I love blogging, being a part of the blogging community & I love getting pretty in my nice clothes but if I'm honest, the schedule I have been imposing on myself has been making it hard for me to remember the good parts & that totally defeats the purpose for me.

So I'm going to be taking a bit of a step back. I'm going to stop going out just to take outfit photos & instead I'm going to go out to do something I enjoy. I'm going to stop forcing myself to go out once a week even when I really don't want to & I'm going to start allowing myself to buy clothes for me, not for outfit photos.

What this will mean for my blog is that I will be posting less often & less consistently. There maybe one post a month, there maybe three or there maybe none, I can't say. What I can say is that I'm hoping to rediscover my love for blogging & stop thinking of it as a chore because that way leads to madness :)

Friday, 30 October 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Autumn Rose

This outfit of the day is another one where I'm making a dress into a skirt & still feeling incredibly clever about it. I mean how many times have you bought a dress & then realised that it only really works as well, a dress. When you decide not to wear the same outfit twice you realise that dresses are pretty limiting, unless you buy new regularly they're really a wear once kind of thing....hence my feeling of true smugness when I worked out how to turn my dresses into skirts :)

This dress is one of my favourites & by far the most comfortable thing in my wardrobe & was in this post from July. I usually wear it as what I call 'pretend clothes', clothes that aren't pjs (my normal uniform) but don't require me to wear underwireing, shapewear, tights &/or make up & that I can go to sleep in if I get too tired to change. Does that make me sound like a weirdo? Now you get why I go all out in my ootd post ^^

I don't wear a lot of black & this outfit totally reminded me why, I kept merging into the chair & looking like I had square boob lol  Does anyone know why wheelchairs are all black? I always assumed it was the same reason early fords came in 'any colour as long as it's black' but seriously the only advantage I can think of is that stains (in theory) don't show as easily but it's not worth it for all the disadvantages.

I always wonder if anyone reads all the text fashion bloggers write in this section, I know when I read fashion blogs I don't usually (I struggle to read that much text full stop so I focus on other blogs) although there are a few where I read everything they write.....not mine though, I write all kinds of gibberish lol. A store I really respect said they were going to read my blog post last week & I swear I nearly broke into a cold sweat, I almost wanted to tell them that my blog is really more of a picture book than something that is there to be read ^^

Anyway, the important bits, the necklace was a gift, the top is an ASOS basic, the belt is old from ASOS again, the skirt is actually a dress from Lindy Bop as I said, the tights are from M&S & the shoes are from B.A.I.T. footwear. These shoes though, I love them so much, they are so pretty & I am starting to get used to them but they are so uncomfortable to walk in & I have no idea why because the heel is really short but it's like I'm walking on a narrow shoe just in a line down the arch of my feet running toe to heel. I feel like you'd have to be some kind of acrobat to be used to this feeling, it's decidedly un-fun to start with! That being said I'm thinking of getting a grey pair next since I don't walk in them & they look so pretty ^^ My mum thinks I'm being silly but you only live once & I have great faith in the power of the right pair of shoes :)

I have to mention that it was actually my mum who came up with the idea for this outfit! She's usually really bad with that kind of stuff but I guess years of taking my outfit photos are teaching her to see clothes the way I do ^^
Thank you mum for putting up with my obsessive perfectionism, making me laugh when we are out taking photos, helping me feel good about myself when we've taken 30 photos in a row where I look bad & keeping me going when I can't find a single thing to wear.

Friday, 23 October 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Golden Morning Pin Up

This is going to be a bit of a photo heavy post but I am living the fierce fish fantasy, serving face & body-ody-ody for days (and speaking the drag queen lingo that goes with it).
Honestly though I can't tell you how amazing I felt in this outfit - taking photos I felt untouchable, beautiful & fabulous, seriously people spend years of their lives dieting/having surgery/having therapy to feel as good as I felt & it is all because of this top!
I can't begin to tell you how long I have been lusting over this top, I think I first started before I got sick (so 5 yrs +) but the price (£55 @ deadly is the female) always stopped me from taking that step & buying it.....I can't explain how much I regret not getting it earlier!!!

I decided that this autumn I wanted to do one of those classic autumn ootd posts with autumn leaves thrown at me to be caught in motion by the camera & a handful or acorns or conkers or pine cones or some other equally cliche thing & this outing was supposed to be the day I got it. The previous few days had been dry, the morning was going to be light & I was hoping to get out for morning golden hour, before the sunrise, to get the perfect photos in a wood near where I live.
Well the wood was pitch black when we got there (after getting up at 7am on sheer force of will....the crazy things I do for my own perfectionism) so we went back via a park hoping to get something & ended up getting these photos which are better than any fashion blogger lens flare dream photos I have ever designed in my head, I am SO happy with them!!!!

The outfit is, well to call it an experiment is putting it mildly. It was the first time I've worn shape wear I think since before I got ill & then I think I was still in my goth light phase & wearing corsets with jeans & t-shirts. Ever since I had the pre-M.E. organ problems my abdomen has been very tender & I've not felt anything that pressed to be worth the risk but I felt this top kind of required shapewear so I got some which is nice & all but it has an awful tendency to ride up & dig into my liver & kidneys when I transfer from car to wheelchair, I think I've worked out a way to stop it from doing that next time but seriously, what is wrong with shape wear that staying where it is supposed to be!
The top is, as I said, goddess wear :) Made by pin up girl clothing, I bought it through deadly is the female cause they are in the uk & it made shipping cheaper :)
The skirt is actually a dress from lindy bop :) I unzipped it, pushed the top inside the bottom part so it looked like a skirt, zipped it up as far as it would go, belted it & voila! I felt super clever that I worked that out, particularly since I don't really fill out the top of the dress (my boobs & waist being out of proportion now I'm a little bigger) & it was just hanging in my wardrobe accusingly.
The belt is old from asos, the shoes are old from acessorize & I think the tights are from M&S....

I'm loving these pin up-ish, vintage-ish looks & they work very well in a wheelchair. As a former hourglass, the best shape for me in my wheelchair is something with a full midi skirt, ideally with emphasis at the waist so as to replicate the shape that I have had stood up & this is a classic 1940's/1950's look that you find all through out vintage & vintage reproduction clothing.
More than that though these looks make me feel super powerful & really beautiful. I can't imagine anything I would feel more attractive in than this outfit, so expect to see a lot more of this kind of fashion on the blog ^^

Friday, 16 October 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Old Faithful

Hi there. I have just spent most of the week trying to work out a name for this ootd, for me this is pretty much just 'clothes'. The crochet top is what gets called on any time I want to look put together but I don't have the energy to come up with some fully thought out outfit, the skirt is just something that I happen to own that is relatively new & comfotable then I added a belt & lipstick. Seriously this is as close to a signature look as I get, maybe that's what I'll call it :)

In my last post I talked about my noise cancelling headphones, this is a perfect example of the ways I wear them. I totally tried to take outfit photos without them on but trust me I looked exhausted, miserable & in pain (not cute). When I'm somewhere noisey like town I feel so much more in control & I have so much more energy to focus on what's happening around me, plus my lipstick totally goes with them :)
These are the peltor ear defenders btw, I am basically living in them atm what with fireworks & roadworks & all the other painful background noise there is.

Any who, the top is old from George @ Asda, the skirt is new from Modcloth & the belt is old from French Connection.

Do you have a signiature look or a peice of clothing that you gravitate to when you are in a rush to look good?

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Spoonie Survival Kit: Noise Cancelling Headphones

I've been meaning to do this post for a very long time but I never seemed to get around to it, it always seemed massively overwhelming, but then trying to include everything that is a part of my spoonie survival kit in one post would be overwhelming, I think half of the things I own could count as part of my survival kit.

So I've decided to take this one item, or group of items at a time, & make it a series. So from now on once a fortnight or so I will talk about something from my spoonie survival kit.

So I'm starting with something that is probably the most important item in my personal survival kit, my noise cancelling headphones.

There are two kinds of noise cancelling headphones; the kind like my Bose headphones which basically 'edit out' the background noise using some fancy pants computer programme I cannot understand even a little bit & the kind like my Peltor ones which block the noise using a lot of foam & by making a vacuum almost around your ear.

You don't need both kinds of headphones, they both have good points & bad points but essentially they both block noise so there is no way you need both kinds. However since I have both kinds I thought I would do a pros & cons so you could see which kind would work best for you.

3M Peltor Optime III Ear Defenders


  • Inexpensive (£19.60 on Amazon UK as of time of writing)
  • Very effective at blocking out background noise
  • Surprisingly comfortable for short periods (upto 3 hours in my experience)
  • The louder the noise the better they block (which means they don't leave you feeling totally isolated, when it is quieter people etc are muffled not totally gone)
  • You can buy replacement ear cups etc for them
  • There are several sizes of ear defenders available, these ones are huge (I bought them to block out the noise of bonfire night which is AWFUL in my area) but they also come in much smaller sizes e.g. kids ear protectors


  • Can get quite tight
  • Can be kind of isolating
  • The ones I have are quite large & not heavy exactly but I can definitely feel them on my head & I'm certain that on touch sensitive days I'm going to hate them
  • They stick out from my ears massively (seriously I look like princess leia) so there's no way I'd be able to sleep with them on
  • If the ambient noise is loud enough people talking get blocked out too, quite common in shops with loud music...

Bose Quiet Comfort Acoustic Noise Cancelling Headphones


  • Extremely comfortable - seriously the most comfortable headphones ever
  • You can listen to music etc through them, in fact they are more noise cancelling when you are listening to something through them
  • They are very light
  • They are very good at blocking out just background but not people talking etc
  • You can buy them as in-ear headphones if that is something you can cope with


  • Expensive (The current version are £269.95 on Amazon UK at time of writing)
  • They aren't as good as the Peltor ones at blocking out loud music in shops (I guess the db rating is lower?)
  • Sudden banging noises (like card doors slamming or fireworks) cause the computer to make a popping noise a couple of seconds later, annoys me every time

I also have a pair of Edz Kidz Ear Defenders which I haven't talked about in this post, simply because I have nothing good to say about them (other than perhaps that they fold up very neatly), they are excruciating to wear & so I can't really give you any information on their performance.

Anyway, I hope this post is helpful for you & that you find the series interesting :)

Friday, 9 October 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Harvest Fog

I think the best bit of Autumn is the early morning fog when all the leaves are turning & the world is perfectly still. I was lucky enough to get out into the fog one morning last week & (whilst the fog is heavy to breathe) it was awesome. I'm actually thinking of making an autumn bucket list just so I can cross off that morning :)

Anywho, this is my new winter coat :) The year before I got sick I got my first grown up winter coat. It cost more than I could afford but it was going to last me for years so it was worth it....& then I got sick & it stopped fitting me (I gained weight & regardless it was too long to be comfortable in the wheelchair). Ever since then I have been trying to find another coat as perfect as that one that I got all those years ago.....
I'm hoping that this one will be the coat I've been searching for. It's got a large enough zipper pull that I can zip up my own coat, it's big enough that I've got space to get larger (or wear a couple of jumpers), it's warm, the hood is cosy, I love the colour, the texture of the fabric is amazing, the faux fur is soft & fluffy & I love the toggles.

P.S. If anyone has any advice on how to take good photos in the fog I would really appreciate them, I could get okay ones of me but when I tried to take photos of things further away I really struggled....

Friday, 2 October 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Autumn Check

I can't help but look at these pictures & laugh. When I was getting dressed I felt enormous, like a navy gingham whale, & I was convinced that this pictures would end up getting scrapped, that I would hate the way I looked in them, that editing would send me into a body hate spiral....
I was mega freaked out.

Obviously, after all that worrying I LOVE these pictures, I think they are some of the best for a long time & I think the dress is incredibly flattering.....seriously instead of this experience sending me into a body hate spiral it actually made me feel happier than I have been about my body for a long while :)

That's the best bit about fashion blogging for me, not just the excuse to buy clothes, dress up all pretty & leave the house (although that's pretty good too), or the awesome community (although that's a close second), but the fact that having to look at myself in photos & having to learn how to take good ones & having to keep going until I get good ones means that I have learnt to see more than my double chins & my man jaw & my lumpy bits, I also see my tiny waist & my smile & my legs & the other good parts that I'd never noticed before. More than that I've learnt to see my body as a one thing, not just a mixed bag of good parts & bad parts :)

Anyway, the fashion :)

This dress is another new one from Lindy Bop (I think I'm going to end up owning their entire catalogue ^^). I adore the bold gingham print, the fabric is divine & it is insanely comfortable, I could genuinely wear this instead of pjs, which is good because I'm getting a little sick of wearing pjs all the time (it shouldn't freak people out to see you in regular ppl clothes ^^).

My only problem with the dress is the buttons, but it's actually a love hate kind of thing. I love the way they look, I hate the fact that I can't fasten/unfasten them.....but then I have the same problem with zips, pop studs & basically all fastenings.

I'm not really sure what I was going for with this look so I'm going to fall back on Parisian :)
I sort of wanted it to be very clean & simple, for the dress to shine but for it to be soft & feminine rather than '70's lumberjack girl' which I had this huge fear it would end up as if I wore boots with it or something like that.....although you don't see enough lumberjack girl looks, I should totally try that. I think my brother even has an axe :)
More than anything though I wanted an excuse to wear my amazing new nude shoes, I can't stop thinking about them. They are agony to walk in but I still just want to wear them as slippers or something because they're just so pretty ^^

Friday, 18 September 2015

Wheelchair Fashion: Pine-ing For Autumn

Hi everyone. Autumn is here (kind of) & I am already being thrown into my love-hate relationship with the season, I love the idea of a perfect, golden autumn with crisp leaves & scarves & light layers & sunshine.
The problem is that autumn in England is cold. And wet. And the leaves have a weird tendency to fall, unturned, & turn into a slick kind of mush as soon as it rains, which it does a lot because it's England & it's always raining here...

That being said however I am a massive fan of autumn fashion & I even bought a few new clothes (almost all of the items in this outfit are new, shock horror lol). I've gotten a teensy bit bigger over the summer, okay, a bit bigger - I've gone from being a size 12/14 last year to an 18/20 this year - so I needed new clothes & I'm still getting used to ordering plus sizes online, especially in a wheelchair seen as how stood up I'm about a size smaller all over, even in my boobs which makes less than no sense.

All of the new stuff - the shoes, the skirt, the hair pin & the t-shirt - are from Modcloth & were bought about a week or so ago so should still be in stock, even if they're not available in all the sizes. I had to order 2XL (the t-shirt was a 3XL so it would be baggy) which was a new experience for me & not one I particularly enjoyed at the time, I could hear all the girls from high school in my head talking about their dress sizes & how much they weighed (my generation's version of the mysterious thigh gap I'm convinced). I'm super proud of my self however because I ordered regardless & I didn't instantly start talking about dieting or 'getting healthier' (which usually means beating myself up for eating anything I really enjoyed).
I'm starting to realise that I can either eat what I enjoy & have fun giving myself the energy I need to do the things I like doing or I can eat food I don't enjoy, not have enough energy, generally feel miserable & still be bigger than I am happy being.... It's a bit of a no brainer.

This post has become more about my body issues than it has about the outfit, or the day when I took the outfit pictures! The photos were take on a day out to the RHS Gardens at Harlow Carr, we had afternoon tea vouchers for Betty's & the tearoom at Harlow Carr is a good one. OMG the afternoon tea at Betty's is HEAVEN, I felt truly spoilt & very round by the time we went round the gardens & got these photos :)
Also, how awesome are my new shoes? As I have said before I'm not much of a pink person but I feel like these shoes are a much prettier alternative to nude heels. There is a tiny kitten heel & I had to get them a size or two too long so that they were wide enough but they are the kind of shoes I want to look at all day they are so pretty :)

Oh this was me in the bookshop at Harlow Carr where they had a really good selection of colouring books & (even cooler) grown up dot to dots!